Introduction
When Linda Ledeau was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer in 2012, she became part of a sad statistic: She had only two percent chance of living for five more years. Her daughter, Kim Sommer, remembers being devastated and shocked even as she tried to support her mom. “Here I am trying to get my mom through treatment, and yet here I am also trying to help her,” Sommer says. Although the disease had an effect on the whole family, she says, “I was very focused on my mom’s needs.” At the time, Ledeau lived in Chicago. Sommer lived with her husband and three kids in Connecticut. But Sommer’s father, who still lived with Ledeau, couldn’t manage all of his wife’s medical needs by himself. So he called his daughter for help.”My dad would call and say,’I need you to talk to your mom,'” she recalls,”It just occurred to me at some point there was nothing I could do.” This realization set in while Sommer was volunteering at a local food pantry one day after dropping off a delivery of groceries for a friend who was undergoing chemotherapy treatment at Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital in New York City
When Linda Ledeau was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer in 2012, she became part of a sad statistic: She had only two percent chance of living for five more years.
You may not know much about pancreatic cancer, but it’s one of the most deadly cancers. In fact, only 2 percent of people diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer live for five or more years after their diagnosis—and that number drops to less than 1 percent if the cancer has spread to other parts of the body.
While there are no clear symptoms at first, they can include abdominal pain and fatigue as well as weight loss or jaundice (yellowing of your eyes and skin). If you have any new symptoms that persist for more than a couple months, talk to your doctor about getting tested for pancreatic cancer.
Her daughter, Kim Sommer, remembers being devastated and shocked even as she tried to support her mom.
“I was devastated and shocked,” Kim remembers. “I remember being just so focused on getting my mom through treatment and helping her. I didn’t have time to think about the future or what was coming next or how this would impact me.”
From the moment she got sick, her mother refused to let cancer define her and instead chose to live life fully until the end of her days—which in this case turned out to be almost four years later, when she passed away in 2013 at age 66 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.
“Here I am trying to get my mom through treatment, and yet here I am also trying to help her,” Sommer says.
“Here I am trying to get my mom through treatment, and yet here I am also trying to help her,” Sommer says. “I never imagined that it could be so much work.”
Sommer’s mother was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer in March 2018. She lived in Chicago and had been married for over 30 years; her husband was caring for her at home, but he needed help with things like getting groceries or cooking meals—and taking care of their two dogs while they were away on trips together (they were both pilots). The couple didn’t think they could afford a housekeeper or someone else to take over these duties while they spent time together as a family—until their son got involved.
Although the disease had an effect on the whole family, she says, “I was very focused on my mom’s needs.”
Although the disease had an effect on the whole family, she says, “I was very focused on my mom’s needs.”
Sommer’s father couldn’t manage all of his wife’s medical needs by himself. He called Sommer for help. She returned to the United States from Japan and moved back into her parents’ home to care for her mother full-time. While Sommer was there, she discovered that her mother needed a new supply of palliative care supplies every month at a cost of $500 per month—far more than her parents could afford.
At the time, Ledeau lived in Chicago. Sommer lived with her husband and three kids in Connecticut. But Sommer’s father, who still lived with Ledeau, couldn’t manage all of his wife’s medical needs by himself. So he called his daughter for help.
At the time, Ledeau lived in Chicago. Sommer lived with her husband and three kids in Connecticut. But Sommer’s father, who still lived with Ledeau, couldn’t manage all of his wife’s medical needs by himself. So he called his daughter for help.
Sommer moved to Chicago to help care for her mother-in-law during her last months on earth. In that time, she learned about a drug trial at UCLA Medical Center that could slow down or even stop pancreatic cancer from progressing—a drug called Afinitor or everolimus.
“I remember thinking ‘if my mom was diagnosed today, would we have had access to this drug?'” Sommer said. “And I didn’t know.”
“My dad would call and say, ‘I need you to talk to your mom,'” she recalls. “It just occurred to me at some point there was nothing I could do.”
Being a caregiver for a loved one with cancer can be overwhelming, and it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. The American Cancer Society estimates that more than 14 million Americans serve as caregivers each year.
Therapy can help you cope with the stress of being a caregiver, but there are also some simple ways to make things easier on yourself: talk to friends or family members about your experience; go on lots of walks or runs; and don’t hesitate to ask for help from others. It’s okay if this means asking someone else at home to handle some tasks so that you can take time for yourself.
This realization set in while Sommer was volunteering at a local food pantry one day after dropping off a delivery of groceries for a friend who was undergoing chemotherapy treatment at Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital in New York City.
Sommer’s friend was struggling to afford groceries while undergoing treatment, and she asked if he could deliver a food delivery from Sloan Kettering. “He delivered the groceries to my friend at his drive-through window,” Sommer remembers. “I was so touched that my husband would do something like that for somebody he didn’t know very well.”
Sommer was inspired by her husband’s kind act to help other patients in need of assistance. She started the Pancreatic Cancer Foundation with him in 2004, shortly after their first son was born. The foundation provides financial assistance to patients who are unable to afford treatment and other expenses related to diagnosing and treating their disease—including travel costs associated with surgery or chemotherapy sessions far from where they live—by matching them up with donors who want to contribute funds towards their goal.
Conclusion
One of the women working at the pantry was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had been struggling with the disease for five years. She was there to pick up some food because she didn’t have enough money to buy groceries. That’s when it hit Sommer: “I could do something about this.”